just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
