What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
