WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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