There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
