I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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