i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
