Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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