it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
