wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Your penis caused this!
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