Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
