Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
