You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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