Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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