Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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