At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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