I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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