You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
