I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize