i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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