Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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