How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
