I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
