I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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