I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
