i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
