my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
nutella sex= disaster
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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