My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
