Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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