try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
