After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
