how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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