before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
