I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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