Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize