STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion