All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!