Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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