I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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