So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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