it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
