I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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