I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I queefed so loud it echoed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
