Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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