yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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