just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
