she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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