you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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