Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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