Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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