Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
