omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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