You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
