As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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