Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my shit smells like andre
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This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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