i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
