in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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