umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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