Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
