do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize