I cannot find my penis.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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